I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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