Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
