I seem to have left my pride at pride
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
