I think im going to throw up on grandma
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
