Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
