coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
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