You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
