I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
