Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
