Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
