I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
True strength comes from lack of pants
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
