he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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