ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
