umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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