she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
