shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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