White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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