Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
