his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
