if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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