I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I know her cup size but not her name....
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
