I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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