just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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