You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Pants are for mortals
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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