It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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