I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
