Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
