Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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