you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
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