yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Randomize
