I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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