You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
