Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Randomize
