I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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