i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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