Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Randomize
