Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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