I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
