Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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