Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
