I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
