If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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