I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
