Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
