Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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