wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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