Sry I called you an 8
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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