Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
