Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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