just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
