did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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