So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
