Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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